Back to School

I'm pretty sure I didn't mention this earlier (or ever, really), but I'm going back to USU for the summer!



I'm going to be up there for about 4 weeks, and depending on the mission paper situation, I may be at school for 8 weeks after that. I love it up at Utah State, and I can't wait to go back on Monday. I'm living in San Juan Hall, even though it's about 1.3 miles away from campus (center of the quad). But hey, it'll give me some excercise.



I'm not taking as many classes as I'd like, but it'll be nice to be in Logan for the summer.

Facebook Status...es

For you Facebookers, you know that you have a "Facebook status" that you can use to let people know what you're up to or what you're thinking. But, as you know, there are those statuses that simply become so repetitive and irritating that you want to throttle the people who post them. Because of this, I wrote a note (on Facebook. Where else?) that outlined what I thought should be the "untouchable statuses."
Now, remember, I wrote this as a SATIRE. I'm not being totally serious here. Apparently, some people didn't get that, and my note comment area has become something of an intellectual battleground.
But hey, I thought it was pretty funny, so I thought I'd grace the masses with my wit and humor.
Please, don't thank me. It's for the kids, really.




The Facebook status feature is pretty darn fun, in my humble opinion. It's a magical place in which simpletons like myself get a stage to attempt to show off our witty humor (and often fail horribly). HOWEVER, there are a few things that show up on this stage that deserve to be booed off with all haste: status updates that are annoying and/or completely unnecessary. Here's a list of status ideas that both I and my crack team of fellow Facebookers find to be the worst of the crop:

-USING YOUR STATUS AS A RELATIONSHIP BATTLEGROUND. Look, friendships and relationships can go sour now and again, but listing the offender's faults and secrets on your status only makes you come across as a bitter person. Not very productive...

-SONG LYRICS. They can be poetic at times; that's why they wrote them. But posting them does nothing but confuse the poor innocent souls that then have to both interpret them and figure out why the heck you'd post them. They may have significance to yourself: keep it that way.

-COMPLAINING THAT YOU'RE UP TOO LATE. We get it, you're a party animal. "Suzie Q is surprised that she's up at 2 am" isn't impressing anyone. If you're so worried about being up, why not sleep? Remember sleep? He's a good old friend...

-PUTING "IS..." AS YOUR STATUS. You may be trying to be insightful or mystic when you write this. You aren't and you're not. This got old a few weeks after Facebook first came around (circa 2004). However, this is forgivable if you're updating by phone and it freaks out on you. Hey, it happens.

-LETTING EVERYONE KNOW HOW AWESOME YOUR GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND IS. You know what? I bet they ARE the greatest friend in the world, and I'm sure you love them for buying you ice cream last Thursday. But when you love the "best bf ever," tell THEM that. They won't roll their eyes at it (I hope).

-USING YOUR STATUS FOR POLITICS. We know Obama won, Liberals. And we know that he screws up, Conservatives. And NOBODY cares about Ralph Nader (that means YOU, Ralph). If you want to sling some mud or demonize a public figure, keep it off the status. That's what blogs are for.

-COMPLAINING THAT YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING/DOING HOMEWORK. So you're a slacker, huh? Well, why not tell the whole world? Telling us that you're putting off that 12-page biology paper to be on Facebook doesn't make you look like a rebel; it makes you look like a procrastinator. And while I can appreciate procrastination as much as the next guy, please, keep your sluffing news to yourself.

-EXCESSIVE EMOTICONS. Sometimes text-based communication doesn't get the feeling of a statement across, and you need to put a small emoticon in to get the point right. :), :D, and even :( are okay now and again, but "Mark had a wonderful day!!! :D:D!!! But has work tomorrow :,(!!!" can make anyone want to step on a kitten.

-DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA. Your friend Jenny doesn't want to hang out on Friday, and you didn't get asked to Homecoming. I feel for ya, but don't be a martyr. If you're looking for pity points, Facebook isn't the place to get 'em.

And last, but most definitely not least:

-OVERDO THE ALL-POWERFUL EXCLAMATION MARK (!). Hey, it's a crazy world, and we're all pretty passionate people, right? But putting an "!" after every sentence (or multiple "!", for that matter) only makes you look like you're begging for attention. We know you're life's important, but don't make it sound like you're making an infomercial sales pitch.

100 Posts!

I'm at 100 Posts!



Pretty dang awesome, huh? I remember starting this blog because I missed writing columns for the paper, and I thought it would be refreshing to do that every now and again. It's been a wild ride, and I hope to keep this up for a while longer (at least until I leave for my mission). I hope I've been at least a bit entertaining, and if I haven't... well, tough beans.
I'll try to update more often.
Here's to another 100 posts!
Cheers.
Mark.

What the...?

I've been places and seen stuff, people. Stupid stuff. Add this and the fact that I have a camera phone (aleibt not a very good one), and you've got yourself a blog post. When I see something in life that makes me ask "What the...?" (see title), then I usually like to get a picture of it. These are some of my favorites. 

Elvis lives, huh? Then why does it have his DEATH DATE?

I don't wanna know what recipies call for this.

Wow. In case you didn't know, the "real" movie is "The Day the Earth Stood Still." This is one of those cheap knock-offs. Made me laugh. 

Aren't ripe bananas yellow?...

It's like they didn't even try.

This is what I call a "suicide inducer."

I think that card catergories are being a little too specialized.

One is a children's classic. The other is a sad attempt to make a few bucks. Try to guess.

I saw this poster at Wal-Mart's Men's section. This is THE definition of panzy.

A guy with a club beating a bear on the cover of a French book. What the...?

More Useless Garbage!

You all know that I'm the King of Useless Information, right? And as your king, I willingly distribute my wealth of useless facts to the peasantry with grace and dignity. So, to keep my popular public image, I should probably dish out a few more, huh? Here's some more facts for the huddled masses (you).

-Approximately sixty circus performers have been shot from cannons. At last report, thirty-one of these have been killed.
-Calvin and Hobbes: Hobbes originally had pads on his hands and feet but Bill Waterson (the creator) found them too distracting and removed them.
-In the name of art, Chris Burden arranged to be shot by a friend while another person photographed the event. He sold the series of pictures to an art dealer. He made $1750 on the deal, but his hospital bill was $84,000.
-In Britain’s House of Commons, the government and opposition sides of the House are separated by two red lines. The distance between the lines is two swords’ lengths, a reminder of just how seriously the Brits used to take their politics.
-The numbers on opposite sides of a die always add up to 7.
-If you were born in Los Alamos, New Mexico during the Manhattan project (where they made the atomic bomb), your birth place is listed as a post office box in Albuquerque.
-The St. Louis Gateway Arch had a projected death toll while it was being built. No one died.
-The Chinese national anthem is called "The March of Volunteers."
-Revolvers cannot be silenced because of all the noisy gasses which escape the cylinder gap at the rear of the barrel.
-According to Dennis Changon, spokesman for the International Civil Aviation Organization in Montreal, Canada - if all of the commercial planes in the world were grounded at the same time there wouldn't be space to park them all at gates.
-Jane Barbie was the woman who did the voice recordings for the Bell System.
-Before settling on the name of Tiny Tim for his character in "A Christmas Carol", three other alliterative names were considered by Charles Dickens. They were: Little Larry, Puny Pete and Small Sam.
-Mario, of Super Mario Bros. fame, appeared in the 1981 arcade game, Donkey Kong. His original name was Jumpman, but was changed to Mario to honor the Nintendo of America's landlord, Mario Segali.
-The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.
-A "hairbreadth away" is 1/48 of an inch.
-On dry, windy days, pollen can travel up to 500 miles.

Well, there ya have it. Let me know if you want more in the future. Thank you, loyal subjects.

Two Decades.

Yikes. The fact that I've been terrorizing this little planet for two decades kinda gives me the willies. But then again, 20 isn't exactly the biggest birthday, huh? I mean, when you're 18, you're an "adult," you can buy cigs at 19, and drink at 21, right? While I haven't smoked and don't plan to drink, It's kind of strange that they wouldn't put something in that "20" slot. How about this: when you turn 20, you can legally own a Nerf gun and pop any teenagers who you catch texting. I like that...
Speaking of Nerf guns, I got one of those six-shooter Nerfs for my b-day. It's actually a lot more entertaining for a college student than you'd think; I've already managed to make a name for myself as the best marksman, and Russian Roullette with Nerf is pretty fun.

I lost...


People tell me that I'm getting old... however, "old is 15 years from now."
-Bill Cosby.
Besides, I've gotten to the point that I can't really judge age simply by numbers anymore. For example, I know 18-year-olds who are more mature than most of us can ever hope to be, and yet I know some people in their 20's and 30's who act like teenagers. The number of years you've been here are how old you are, but it isn't your age.
Whoa... deep...


P.S. I wanted to let you know that I've found a physical representation of demons incarnate:

You know what these things are? They're a toy that asks you 20 questions, and it can guess what you're thinking of. Almost every time. I mean, seriously, this thing's disturbingly accurate; it got four-leaf clover and ruby all within five minutes. Sure, it's pretty fun, but it's evil.
Plastic evil.

Spring Break '09

Last year's spring break, a few roommates and myself decided that St. George, UT was the place to be. It was warm, and we were itching to go camping. It was pretty cool:



This was last year.


Well, this time, the same group (minus one) went to St. George once again. This time, however, we weren't camping. Oh, no, we were staying in the Presidential Suite at a condo complex, thanks to my dad's generosity and bonus points.
So, we thought we'd go hiking at the same places and what not. It was about as fun as a barrel of monkeys. See for yourself:


This is the Presidential Suite we stayed in. Livin' the high life... for a week, at least.



This is Slot Canyon. You have to nearly kill yourself to get there, and it'll make anyone claustrophobic, but there are some really cool Indian carvings in the walls.



We found a playground in the area, and Austin challenged me to Tic-Tac-Toe. I defeated him soundly.



Me and Mom at Red Robin. She said "smile." I refused. Heh...




This is the area around Slot Canyon that we hiked. Actually, "climbed" is a more accurate verb.



Eric and I in another crevice. I really didn't panic. Really.



This is one of the Indian carvings. It's either a ram or a dog with rabbit ears.



The walls were 20 feet at the shortest, and it was only a few feet wide. I said that if there was an earthquake while we were in there, it wouldn't be pretty.



Us on the playground. It was VERY late...



This is a fish-eye of the view from our deck. Our PRIVATE deck. With a HOT TUB.

Lookie What I Made

I've become addicted to a new program: Google SketchUp. It's pretty simple for a 3D rendering program, and I've caught on to it pretty quick. I wanted to make something of my own, so I decided to make a 3D digital version of my Zune Mp3 player. Now, you have to remember, I built this thing 100% from scratch. Am I bragging?
Why, yes. Yes I am.
You can put your statements of awe and amazement in the comments box.

Ask a Ninja

I'm surprised at how many people have never heard of this website... askaninja.com is an endless source of clean entertainment (until you run out of episodes...)
Ever wonder what the life of a ninja is like? The Ninja tells you just how it goes down. Check the site out later if you want, and make sure to watch the older episodes (20's and 30's). They're the best.
Enjoy.

Oooooh boy...

So, good (maybe) news. You may know that I was serving as the Vice President of South Campus up here at Utah State this last semester. South Campus has ~400 students, and I wanted to join Area Government because it was akin to student gov't back in high school... except you actually do important things up here.
Well, the President resigned, and I was VP... Do the math...
You may ask why I'm not totally ecstatic about the whole situation, and here's why: I'm already taking 16 credits worth of classes, as well as serving in the Elder's Quorum Presidency. I don't exactly have much room on my schedule, and I'm apprehensive that this will finally give me that "push" into insanity (see 'Dark Knight').
But, like everything else, we just need to take it in stride, right? I really am trying to be positive about it. For example, I got to go to General Council today: where all the Area Governments, Peer Mentor reps, etc. get together and discuss things of the utmost importance. I'm going to do what I can to make this work, and work well.
Plus, it looks good on a resume...

Come One! Come All!

May I have your attention, please! Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you a spectacle that has no equal in astonishment and amazement! Behold, the STADIUM SEATING:



Pretty boss, eh? I know I'm a little overexcited, but we've been thinking about doing this for a while, and we've finally gotten to it. What we've done is taken the small couch and raised it up on cinder blocks, so it's about 3 feet off the ground, with the large couch in front of it. Not only that, but we've raised the chair to the right about a foot. What you have now is a movie-watching setup that rivals that of any in existence. Add to that the fact that we've got an American flag made of Christmas lights on the front window and the strings of light and black-bulbs in the room next, and you've got the most happenin' room on campus.
Come by sometime. We'll give ya a free tour.

TOP 25! It's about time...

People of Earth! The college sports community has finally seen the errors of its ways and decided to lift the Utah State basketball team to its rightful place in the glorious top 25. For those of you who have no idea what the significance of this "25" is: the top 25 is the list (lists) put together by various people in college sports to determine who the top 25 basketball teams in the nation are. We're #25 on the AP list, and #22 on the coach's poll. This has been a long time coming, considering that Utah State has the best starting record in the school's history, tied for the best record in the COUNTRY, and currently has the BEST AWAY RECORD IN THE NATION. People may say: "well, they aren't playing any hard teams..." Look, I don't care who you are or what you do, any team that can has the best away record in the nation AND tied for best record deserves a little sugar.
So there's my bragging session. And no, I'm not going to apologize.
Cheers.
Oh, by the way... BYU and Utah aren't ranked.
Booyah.

Fail...

For the last while, I've been totally swamped with school, homework, social stuff, Elder's Quorum, Area Government... it's been absolutely crazy. It's getting to the point that I feel like I've died a bit inside, and so I need laughs more than ever. Derek showed me this website, failblog.org, and it's got a bunch of epic fails on it that others were kind enough to point out in everyday life (a fail is... a fail. An epic fail is a fail to the extreme).
So, just in case you've got your hands as full as mine, here's some funnies that I stole from the site. Enjoy.

I can't breath...

Every winter, Logan gets cold. Very cold. Not the "grab a jacket and you'll be fine" cold, but the "if you have skin showing, you'll lose it" cold. And it's that inhumanly freezing weather that causes this:



It's called an inversion, and it's a thing of unimaginable evil. See, Logan's build like a bowl, with the whole valley (and lands northward) sloping down into it. Not only does water go this way, but the air as well (especially polluted air). What happens is that the cold air "traps" the pollution from cars, cows, etc. into the bowl (Logan), and it sits there until a storm blows it away.
I love Logan, I really do. In fact, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that it's my favorite city. But like when your husband forgets to pick up the milk or the girlfriend crashes your car, you can still be a tad irked at a loved one... or place.
I've always had pretty keen senses, and smell is no exception. But it's times like these that I curse that nose of mine. When I wake up and go to classes, I can smell, even sometimes taste, the dirty air.
I don't just post this to complain, but rather to... you know what, I think I am just complaining. It's a warning too, I suppose: if you're coming to Logan soon, bring a respirator.

"Shift Happens"

In my Technology and Society class, the prof showed us a video/slideshow called "Shift Happens." It show info and stats about the shift that's happening world-wide concerning... well, just about everything. We live in a day and age where everything is changing faster and faster, for ill or good.
Here's the video below. I think the music is supposed to make you a bit nervous, but I find most of the info in the show is quite exciting. I have to be honest, though: many (if not most) of the predictions in the video seem like bunk; they go over the top. Even so, this video is pretty mind-blowing, and it's worth a look.
It just goes to show that the world won't hold still anymore. The world is always changing.
Shift happens.

Fighting for Utah State

I'm not sure of how many of you already know this, but the Utah Legislature is considering a 19% budget cut to public universities. This would be absolutely devastating to Utah State, and I'm trying to get the word out. In fact, as VP of South Campus Area Government, I actually sent this message to 100+ people on our Facebook group, as well as e-mails. I want everyone to know:

"Most of you have heard of the impending budget cuts proposed by the Utah Senate, shaving 19% off of the state's funding for public universities. What most DON'T know is the extent of damage that this proposal will create for Utah State University. 600+ jobs will be lost, programs will be cut (starting with the arts), research funds will be lost, tuition will rise, class numbers and sizes will shrink, and entire departments may get the axe.

If you have ever wondered how the economic situation will affect you, this is it.

This isn't something that will just go away. Our Governor, John Huntsman, has offered to the Legislature an alternative course of action: an 11% cut instead of 19%. While the University will still lose millions of dollars and hundreds of jobs, the impact will be significantly lower than that of the currently proposed plan.
This is the time to be heard, Aggies. Please, PLEASE do your part in writing letters to the state and legislature, telling them that we are not to be forgotten. They are our representatives; have them represent us. Give Gov. Huntsman our support for his plan. There's a rally in Salt Lake later this month as well. If you know anyone in government positions, whether it be local, state, or federal, please tell them about our cause and enlist any help you can get from them. Big names=big results.
This doesn't just affect us in Logan: all public Utah schools will get slammed by this cut as well. We need to put aside our rivalries with others and unite in a single and universal cause. Utah State, Weber, Dixie, SUU, Utah... we're all on the same side this time. Even if it's just telling someone about this situation, PLEASE do your part in defending our school.
You can get more info from news sites, such as: http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=5244710
I'm proud of Utah State and everything it does, and I'm willing to fight for it's sake. Are you?"

So that was my message, and it's the same to you. If you value higher education, from ANY school in Utah, please let others know, and do what you can to keep USU as prestigious as it is today.

Bak tuh skool

I enjoyed Christmas break, but after being home for three weeks, all I could think about was when I could go back to Utah State. Well, I'm finally back, and it's COLD. 17 degrees, not including the wind, snowing, and most of the sidewalks are solid ice. Despite all this, I'm actually really glad to be back. My social life isn't exactly 'happenin' back in Kaysville, as awesome as it is.
Right now, I'm taking Economics, Management Information Systems, Masterpieces of Music, Beginning Piano, Institute, English, and possibly a Technology/History class. At the moment, I'm a business major, though I may not stay that way. The reason I'm keeping the major is because, quite honestly, I'm not sure what I want to go into. I have at least 2 years to figure that out... No matter what I graduate with, I want at least a minor in business, as it's useful in any field. My major credits transfer to a minor quite nicely, so if I ever change my mind, I won't feel like I've wasted a whole semester. Mark's no dummy...